How to Meet Deadlines and Remain Sane

4 Apr

I meant to post these thoughts some time ago, but am only now getting around to it. Oh and by the way, this post was also posted over on http://fabulosityreads.blogspot.ca/2014/03/how-to-meet-deadlines-remain-sane-by_11.html#.Uz8L1VdnA2s. (A fabulous blog, true to its name!) Somehow I met the deadline for that… :-D

My name is Dianne and I am a procrastinator – a busy one, but nevertheless I am an authentic procrastinator. Image
Yet somehow I manage to work at a fulltime day job, assist Hot Stuff Hubby with a part-time endeavor, direct an annual 2 week stint of dinner theatre, take care of two very large yards year round, sit on three community boards, keep in touch with 6 grown children and dispense motherly wisdom on a daily, sometimes hourly basis (yes, I am, as well, a hovering helicopter parent with 30 plus years of experience), and I write novels. Sandwiched in between all of this big stuff is the little stuff – the “crack filler stuff” that holds my life together. (More on this later.)

 

Know this truism and Rule of The Universe: WORK EXPANDS TO FILL THE AMOUNT OF TIME ALLOTTED TO IT.

It always has and always will.

This is actually an unwritten law from the higher realms of Quantum physics. (C’mon, stick with me as I ramble on here – it will soon make sense, and you will be able to brag to your friends about your literary choices by casually saying something to the effect of, “Yeah, so I was reading this blog post on Quantum physics the other day ….” Now how impressive would THAT be?)

Model, Science, Mike, Symbol, AndrewBut I digress. It’s all about the energy not being able to be created or destroyed. Which means there will always be stuff to get done. Always. You will never get caught up. All the great minds in physics realize this. Just ask them – physicists like Albert Einstein and Stephen Hawking. Ok, well maybe it’s too late to chat up ol’ Albert but Steve, if you’re reading this post, feel free to leave a comment at the end.    Science, People, Einstein, Cartoon The point of the Rule of The Universe is that in order to meet deadlines, you must put your tasks on The List (see point #1 below), and assign a start and stop time to each one. Do this and It. Will. Get. Done. The trick is to get through The List without bleeding every last drop of energy out of you.

Here’s how I manage to meet deadlines in view of the aforementioned rule, while remaining calm and a little bit shy of crazy:

1.Make THE LIST. Here’s how. Get a calendar. No, not just the one in your phone, although that’s a dandy way to get audible reminders of how much time you’ve got left. Get a paper one as well, or at least a piece of paper and write down the deadlines in the spaces of the appropriate days. Estimate, realistically, how many minutes/hours/days it will take you to do the task and, working backwards from the deadline date, write the start time down.

Oh, and seriously? Capturing all of the things/events/issues/meetings/promised outcomes on paper makes them much easier to keep track of. This in itself relieves an unbelievable amount of mental stress. You no longer have to attempt to lasso all of those thoughts and mental memos racing and banging around inside the old noggin, which is kind of like trying to herd an armload of cats into your car for a trip to the vet for yearly vaccinations. (Cats instinctively know what you’re planning. Think only kind thoughts towards them.)

Brown, Cat, Kitten, Kitty, Illustration

2.Stay focused and devote the time solely to the task at hand. You’ll be surprised at how quickly you finish something if you have only a set amount of time in which to do it, and you’ll be surprised at how good the wash of relief feels when you can tick a task off your list of things-to-be-done.

Ever get a phone call from friends who want to drop by in 15 minutes? Suddenly you can do the sink full of dishes, or at least hide them in the dishwasher, vacuum the cat hair off the couches, wipe the last meal’s crumbs from your kitchen counters, sweep the floors, toss the smelly bag of garbage into the outside can, and put your feet up, looking like you have nothing else to do for the evening, before the doorbell even rings. Under normal circumstances, those household tasks could have eaten up an entire afternoon.

Home, Education, People, Lady, Woman3.Break up overwhelming tasks into manageable bits and set a goal for yourself with a time limit. One hour. One day. Maybe one week, although that’s almost too big – it leaves lots of squirming room for those of us who have an issue with staying on task. Hoping to write your next novel and get it finished in this decade? (I speak from personal experience in trying to get Book Three in my Quintspinner Series done.) How about writing 100 words at every meal? That’s not asking a lot. How many times have you been asked to fill in an online form for your book and in doing so, must leave a 100 word description? All of a sudden 100 words fly onto the page in a matter of a few sentences, and before you know it, you’re OVER your allotted limit. (Take this #3 point for example. It’s 143 words up to this point, not counting this sentence. How easy was that?)

Pencil, Happy, Jumping, School, Writing4.Learn to say “No.” And practice saying it out loud. There IS a practical limit to how many tasks a non-super-human being can take on and still retain some semblance of sanity. Pass that limit, and unmet deadlines will fall by the wayside like heat-struck guards at the palace gates. 

Old, Sign, Stop, Office, People, Man

5.Set rewards for yourself, to be enjoyed at the end of tasks. Rewards are the crack-filler stuff that stops me from fragmenting. (See? I promised that I would get to this part.) Rewards can be as decadent as a glass of wine, some white chocolate, and a soak in the hot tub, or as practical as watching a favorite TV show, reading for pleasure, or indulging in a hobby.

Woman, Tan, Watering, Garden, Spring

However you choose to time-manage your commitments, make sure that they leave you with a feeling of enjoyment, or at least some level of satisfaction upon completion.  Otherwise it’s just an expenditure of energy on matter that doesn’t matter. But that’s another lecture on a subset of Quantum physics, best saved for another time. I’d love to hear from you on how you effectively meet YOUR deadlines.  Now go get that calendar.

School, Black, Notebook, Icon, Note

IT’S THE MARCH BOOK FRENZY!! YES, INDEEDY!

27 Mar

Image

Well the blog hop has begun and it runs until Sunday, March 30th! Your help sharing the March Book Frenzy would be greatly appreciated. Tell your friends!
This March Book Frenzy is brought to you by http://fabulosityreads.blogspot.ca/Image

FOR MORE INFORMATION ON THE  FREE AND DISCOUNTED BOOKS YOU SEE ON THE BANNER PLEASE REFER TO THIS BOOK CATALOG.

 

There’s also A WONDERFUL GIVEAWAY:

 

FOR READERS $35, $25 and $20CashPLUS2 eBooks from each author. Refer to the BOOK CATALOG Giveaway Link: March Book Frenzy (Readers)

FOR PARTICIPATING BLOGGERS ONLY

2 X $20 Cash Giveaway Link (Bloggers ONLY): Bloggers Giveaway

Increase your chances to win by visiting as many of the blogs on the book tour as possible. (Find the list of participating blogs by clicking here). Here’s a list of all of the stops: http://new.inlinkz.com//luwpview.php?id=375044.

Why not click around and visit these blog sites? Such a selection! And all of them are full of really great reading suggestions. The hosts have a huge collection of posts from authors, as well as many, many book reviews.

I’ve started things off for the tour with a post about 10 things that I wish I had known before I became an author. It’s been a steep learning curve and I probably could have had a list three times longer….

If you are like me – multitasking, trying to keep my head above water while tending to all of the bazillion things that threaten to pull me under while competing for my time and attention – well, I’m left with the attention span of a fruit fly. Therefore, I have added the post in it’s entirety below. (one less click step for you!)  Here goes:

10 Things I Wish I Had Known Before I Became An Author

 
  1. Some people write just for themselves. (Drawers full of scribbled down short stories and poems for-your-eyes-only anyone?) These people are writers. Not authors. There IS a difference. The author part is where you do the hard work that is required to get the story or poem ready for judgment by the rest of the world, and then succeed in doing so. Writers write for the joy of capturing thoughts down on paper or screen. Authors do this too, but hope to make a living at it. Most writers secretly long to become authors.
  2. Telling the story is the easy part. Then comes the hard part of editing, rewrites, cover design, and marketing your product.
  3. Writing to make money is a business. There are costs involved and hopefully, monies earned. You do not have to spend a fortune to get a good quality book out there (although some have) but you probably DO need to pay for some services such as book cover design (if you don’t have a fantastic, eye-popping cover, it will never be noticed at thumbnail size. I hire Derek Murphy at http://bookcovers.creativindie.com/ to do the book covers for my Quintspinner series. Treat yourself to seeing some amazing book covers over on his site). The Internet provides groups to join professionally (http://allianceindependentauthors.org/ ) and lists places to get answers to questions about “how-to” for most things related to publishing a book and becoming an author. Other jobs, such as proper formatting can be hired out at a reasonable cost, to people who will make sure that it’s done properly. End result? You will have a great product to sell. Do not skimp on the quality.
  4. You MUST embrace technology. You cannot get away from using it and it will be a steep learning curve. If, like me, you are somewhat of a computer troglodyte, learn what you can on your own, and then hunt down a teenager who, for the price of some weekend beer money, will teach you how to upload, download, resize jpg’s, start a blog and a Facebook page, etc. They have grown up with this stuff. They’re really, really good at it. Pretend the money you’re paying them is going toward their university savings.
  5. You should have a plan. Several of them actually. A plan for your book’s plot. A marketing plan for your book’s introduction to the world. A financial plan for your expenditures. Do not do any of these by the seat of your pants.
  6. Word of mouth is still the most effective (and cheapest) way to get your book out there in front of hopefully thousands of pairs of readers’ eyes, and without a doubt, book bloggers are the best way to spread the word about your book. They connect with a built-in audience of readers. Book bloggers are an author’s BEST avenue of book discovery.
  7. Most of your friends and family members will abandon you after the novelty of your first book wears off and you have not immediately been invited to be a guest sitting and chatting on Oprah Winfrey’s couch. See the next point.
  8. Writing is a solitary occupation and it is vitally important to make connections with other writers. Preferably those who are authors. Not only will they have advice about formatting issues, royalty statements, Amazon algorithms, and be able to offer encouragement to you when you are full of self-depreciating thoughts (Why can’t I write the next BIG THING? Why do I continue with this?), but they will completely understand your need for a glass of spiced rum and coke and a bowl of chips and dip to get the creative juices going. (Hey, I am writing a pirate series after all.)
  9. The pathway to authorship will become littered with sacrifices. It’s a demanding career choice and it does not willingly share your time with anything or anyone else in your life. Got time to watch a season’s worth of your favorite TV show? Nope. Spend a few hours on a lazy afternoon reading for pleasure? Not likely. Want a weekend to work on [insert your favorite hobby here]? Not going to happen. You will be hunched and crunched over your keyboard, eyes nervously flickering over your accumulated word count, as the sounds of your family’s laugher floats over your head from the family room elsewhere in your home.
  10. This is the most important point of all and if I had known this, it would have made the journey of writing my first book so much easier: the heart-pounding, intense thrill of seeing your book available for sale online for the very first time, or better yet, holding it as a physical copy in your hands, makes all of the above WORTH IT. Every lonely, frustrating, exciting, wonderful, challenging minute of it. I really wish I’d known this from the start. Wouldn’t have gone through quite so much spiced rum, I expect Cheers!

MULTIPLE AWARD WINNER including B.R.A.G. Medallion Winner, Best
Historical (Reader Views, NIEBA), Best YA (Writer’s Digest, Hollywood
Book Festival), Best Commercial Novel (Eric Hoffer), Book of the Year
(Foreword Reviews)

 
Even in the year 1717, one month, one week, or one day, can make all the difference in the world.
 
One month ago, Tess Willoughby was the daughter of a well-to-do physician in London, and she witnessed the murder of an old seer. Coming into possession of the dead woman’s odd ring – an ancient Spinner ring, known by the locals as the Ring of Prophesy, she was wrongly accused by her father of having stolen the ring.
Three weeks ago, by her father’s arrangement for the family, she became an unwilling passenger on a merchant ship bound for the pirate-infested waters of the Caribbean.
Two weeks ago, at her father’s insistence, she became forcibly betrothed to a man who she recognized as being the seer’s murderer – a man who covets her only for her ring.
One week ago, she met a sailor and experienced the thrill of being in love for the first time.
Two days ago, she realized that such a secret love would endanger them both, and, heart-broken, she was forced to choose her loyalty. 
Yesterday, her fiancé betrayed her during a pirate attack and those she loved were slaughtered.
Today, she is plotting to save her own life and perhaps to take his in retribution. The ring is urging her to decide quickly…
 
Tomorrow will be too late.
 
 
 
Born and raised on the Canadian prairies, Dianne Greenlay is the author of the hilarious story, THE CAMPING GUY, as well as QUINTSPINNER – A PIRATE’S QUEST and DEADLY MISFORTUNE, Books One and Two in a fast-paced award – winning adventure series, set in the 1700′s, in the pirate-infested waters of the West Indies. Greenlay is also a playwright, producer, and Creative Director of the long-running community theater group, Darkhorse Theatre. She is fluent in at least her mother tongue and she thanks her fierce English teachers for that. More of her thoughts on life can be found at www.diannegreenlay.com.

Connect With Dianne Here:

More of Dianne’s books on her AMAZON page.
Follow her on TWITTER.

 

Damn Fine Stuff!

25 Mar

[Image
I once had an old aunt who, in her youth had been quite a fire cracker. Years later, in the twilight of her life, she was still a confident, opinionated, and quite deaf old gal, but a bundle of entertainment to be around.

Most notably, she had a signature expression of everything that was to her liking, as being “Damn fine stuff” – as in music she liked: “Now that’s damn fine music!”, or in a sip of the ol’ medicinal: “Now that’s a damn fine drink!”, or (my favorite) in judgment of a particular lifeguard’s overall build: “Now that’s a damn fine piece of beautiful walking past us right there!”

Like I said, she was deaf, not blind…

Image

She passed away at the end of March several years ago, and I can’t help but think of her at this time of year, and so, in borrowing her phrase, I’d like to introduce you to some Damn Fine Stuff.

It just so happens that I am a part of the eNovel Author March Book Frenzy.  It’s an 8 author multi-blog (55 stops at last count, yup – NOT a typo. Fifty-five stops) that is running this week, March 27th through to March 30th. There are several amusing and revealing posts by the authors, book give-aways, and contests with cash prizes to be entered into. Here’s the link: http://www.rafflecopter.com/rafl/share-code/YTQ1NWM3Zjk2MGMzZTg0ZThhYTIzYWJlNDcwMWUxOjI3/

You can find details for all of this incredibly Damn Fine Stuff here: http://fabulosityreadsbookpromotions.blogspot.ca/p/enovel-authors-march-book-frenzy.html

And free and give-away and cash is always good, isn’t it?

 Image

G’wan. Check it out. You know you wanna’… (Did I mention it was FREE stuff??)

Oh, and by the way, here is one of those entertaining author posts by yours truly ( a little bit of personal history in it) http://fabulosityreads.blogspot.com/2014/03/10-things-i-wish-i-had-known-before-i.html

Hope to chat with you somewhere along the blog hop! -Dianne

Blame It On Google (or What Was I Thinking??)

21 Jun

A few years ago, my life of being a sole charge physiotherapist and EMT in a remote rural community was pretty normal. The usual assortment of injuries (bruises, broken bones, sprains, etc.  – my patients’, not mine!) filled my days until a very unusual item came up in a Google search for a medical condition: women pirates.

What the heck? I didn’t even know that there were such things. Curious, I clicked on it and began to read. Well, it turns out that not only were there such characters, but there were many of them, and the lives and adventures of most of them were very well documented. In particular, I read about Anne Bonny and Mary Read, who, stranger than fiction, both disguised themselves as men, and quite by accident, ended up sailing on the very same pirate ship in the 1700’s through the West Indies. I read on, learning that these two ladies were described as being more determined and fearless than most of their male crew members, as they fought and pillaged their way up and down the Caribbean coastlines. Now this was good stuff – treasures, sea battles, brutal medical procedures, hurricanes, and swordfights!

I was hooked.

Being that these two female pirates were already well documented by writers who were much better writers than I, I didn’t dare try to retell their stories, but I thought that I could write my own story filled with characters from that era and lifestyle, and just let my imagination go wild. And, oh yeah, maybe throw in a few historical facts now and then, just to add realism. Boy, was I misguided!

It took only one sarcastic comment from an acquaintance to set me straight: “You are a prairie girl. You don’t sail. You don’t fight. You’re not even a history buff. What on earth makes you think that you could, or even should write about that stuff?”

Sometime during the pity party that I immediately had for myself, my hurt feelings morphed that comment into a challenge. I began to research. Several months later, I had ordered in so much reference material, that I was on a first name basis with every librarian in our library, and had tables ( yes, tables!) full of binders, notebooks, scraps of paper with details that I felt I needed to know. I also visited several marine museums, and did short sails, even attempting once to haul the main sail up on a tall ship, but failing miserably; I talked with sailors, strolled through historical sites, hoisted real cannonballs, and made my own grog out of dark rum. (After all, I wanted to involve all my senses, right?) And I began to write.

A little pirate fun during a research trip to the Caribbean

A little pirate fun during a research trip to the Caribbean

I became immersed in life in the 1700’s. In my mind as I wrote, I saw my characters, felt the tilt of the ship’s planks beneath my feet (ahem, … there may have been a little of that grog involved there), and at one point, while writing a sea battle full of cannon and musket fire,  I thought I could actually smell the smoke. Turns out it was just my neighbor’s barbeque.

Nevertheless, a few months down the literary road, QUINTSPINNER – A PIRATE’S QUEST was published. The story ended up having both a strong female and male protagonist (I am mother to two daughters and four sons and I had to keep peace in the family.) I held a book launch party complete with a pirate theme, sea shanties, author reading and book signing, sea food platters, and a surprise enactment of one of the book’s scenes by a local drama group, all looking and acting very pirate-ey. The launch party lasted several hours and attracted over 150 people.

A "Captive Audience" at the Pirate Book Launch Party

A “Captive Audience” at the Pirate Book Launch Party

I just wanna be a Pirate.

I just wanna be a Pirate.

Proper lookin' Pirates at the Launch Party

Proper lookin’ Pirates at the Launch Party

Then, much to my surprise and delight, my novel went on to win multiple awards, including Best Historical, Best Commercial Novel, Best Beach Read, Best YA, and Book of the Year awards. At one point, I was in contact with Tyler R. Tychylaar, Ph.D, historian, and noted historical author, and we discussed writing in the historical genre. He stated that it was generally agreed that the historical genre is the hardest one to write in because of the amount of time and effort that the research requires, above and beyond producing all of the ingredients that make up a great novel.

I hadn’t given a shred of thought to this when I started out. I wrote only for the sheer joy of storytelling, and the fun of weaving historical fact into a tale of adventure. But when Quintspinner neared  the end of an acceptable length, there was still oh-so-much more story to tell, not to mention the rest of the yet-unused, often juicy, historical details that my research had unearthed, just sitting on those tables, whispering to me. And those whispers most decidedly told me that it was going to be an historical series that I was writing.

“What??” That was the logical side of my brain chiming in. “What are you thinking? More historical? The hardest genre to write in, remember?”

And then I heard my heart and imagination reply simultaneously. “No worries,” the two of them soothed as I was swayed.  “Remember how much fun it was? Why not help yourself to a mug o’ the grog and let the storytelling begin!”

Now a year later, DEADLY MISFORTUNE, Book Two in the Quintspinner series has been published and it too, has won an award in Best Historical division. And fearlessly sailing forward, just like Anne Bonny and Mary Read, I am already writing Book Three and still enjoying every detail along the journey.

(Quintspinner – A Pirate’s Quest will be free on Amazon June 21st – June 25th, 2013.)

http://www.amazon.com/Quintspinner-Pirates-Quest-Dianne-Greenlay/dp/1460951921/ref=sr_1_2_title_0_main?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1371351532&sr=1-2&keywords=quintspinner

What I Live For

9 May

Today I’m taking part in ‘What I Live For’, an online event organized by author Satya Robyn. People like me all over the world will be sharing what gives their lives meaning. In Satya Robyn’s novel ‘Thaw’, Ruth gives herself three months to decide whether she can find a reason to carry on living. There’s 75% off the kindle version today (99p / $1.49) – you can read more here: http://www.satyarobyn.com/?page_id=56 .

And here are my thoughts on the subject of “What I Live For”.

I come from a dysfunctional family. At the time of growing up, there was no such term. I certainly wasn’t the only kid in school to come from a less than stellar background, but mine, in my younger years,  made me shy and insecure. I developed a tough exterior out of a need to survive, but I was always afraid that someone would find a chip in my armor and destroy the frightened little girl inside. Eventually I came to realize that I was OK. Each morning, the sun still came up, and each day I gained confidence in myself.

 My father was a workaholic, holding down a full-time real estate seller’s job, farming a small farm, and playing in a local band on weekends. He was also someone whose friends and social status was of much more importance to him that the feelings and needs of his family members were. The only time he really paid any attention to my brother and to me was to administer discipline at the end of his work day, for any infractions that we had done.

My mother was a severe alcoholic – so much so, that by the time I was the age of 12, I could no longer bring any friends home to play at our house after school, as Mom would be fall-down drunk and snarly. She was a demanding woman when she was sober, and a pugilistic one when drunk.

My brother was four years younger than myself, and I learned to “mother” at a very early age.

However, I outline these details, not to have a pity party but to rejoice in having grown up in such a family situation, because it has made me the person that I am today, and for that I am extremely grateful.

Yes. Grateful for that home life. How can that be? Well, it afforded me the environment in which to learn so much. As the popular poster says, “Children learn what they live.” In a way, that one wouldn’t probably expect, here’s what I learned:

  1. I became an excellent student. If I had 97%, I was not praised, but expected to have a reason for having lost those 3 marks. I still, to this day, strive to be the best that I can be, in all of my interests.
  2. I learned to cook. To do laundry. (Um, to drive underage.) To do my own banking. To administer simple first aid. These things I am grateful for, for I not only learned to cope, but began to thrive in all kinds of new or difficult situations.
  3. I learned of the damage that emotions can do, and resolved to not become embroiled in the inner struggles of others around me. Their wars are not mine. I now consciously decide where to spend my mental energies.
  4. I learned of the extraordinary feeling of bliss that loving one’s own family evokes. I now “mother” a blended family of six, and I do not think that I would have or could have appreciated how wonderful this family that I have is, had I not had the flip side to compare it to.
  5. My brother, who felt more like a child to me than a brother, passed away on his thirty-fifth birthday. He left me with so many happy memories of him (he had a deadly sense of humor that I miss most of all), but even with his passing, I have come to learn the incredible lesson that some people come into your life just to teach you how to let go.
  6. I wake each morning, grateful for all that I have, excited to see what my day holds for me, and I close my eyes at the end of each day, reviewing all that had been given to me.

And so, “What I Live For” is the opportunity to continue to experience all that life has yet in store for me, good and bad, frightful and restful, familiar and new. It is the purr of the feral cat who has decided that I am to be trusted, the whirr of the wings of the flock of birds who take flight at my advance, it is the comments of people that my writing has put me in touch with all over the world, it is the sunshine on my face, it is the excitement and sometimes the sadness that I hear in friends’ voices, and it is the feelings of love and contentment that catch me off-guard and pour over me at unexpected moments, filling me with the most joyous energy.

It is all part of my journey and I cherish it.

 Satya’s novel, “Thaw”, the story of a woman’s life choices, is available here: http://www.satyarobyn.com/?page_id=56 . Treat yourself to the pleasure of reading. Enjoy.

Happiness is a large fuzzy puppy at your side.

Happiness is a large fuzzy puppy at your side.

“My Temporary Life” Book Review

7 Apr

I had heard so much about this novel, that my curiosity was really peaked. I have very little time to read for pleasure, so one evening, I decided to treat myself to some uninterrupted reading time. And what a treat this story is!

Essentially, it chronicles the main character,Malcolm’s life in two parts. The first part of the story involves young Malcolm as a young teenager, as he copes with school bullies, poverty, and his parents’ break-up. Told in heart-wrenching detail, it was hard to believe that this was fiction. The second part of the novel skips ahead to find Malcolm grown up and in his mid-thirties, as he finds himself in an unexpected and dangerous adventure. It is in the second half of the story that we see how the events of Malcolm’s young life have shaped him to be the man he has become, and it is these resulting characteristics that make him so interesting and endearing as he finds himself in big trouble in the second half of this story.

I read the entire novel in one sitting, unable to put it down. While the first half tugs the reader in because of the emotional empathy it produces, the second half pulls the reader along on a fast-paced and thrilling adventure, where you care – you really CARE – what is going to happen to Malcolm.

Two kinds of stories, all wrapped up in one, there’s something here for everyone. An enjoyable read from start to finish.

(Amazon Book Cover photo) Available here: http://amzn.to/10JF3bq

Friends and a Book Review

15 Mar

The Camping GuySee these two guys in this picture? Well, they are Earl, an experienced outdoorsman, and Johnson, a hapless city slicker, who end up spending a weekend camping together. Guess which one is which? If you care for a bit of a laugh, you can read their story here: http://amzn.to/WBQT4x Here’s the description:

“I opened my business magazine, and that’s when I saw the ad.

Executive De-stressing. Get away from it all.

Guided one-on-one wilderness camping.

Our motto is “If you’re not living on the edge,

You’re taking up TOO MUCH ROOM!”

Call Earl – the Camping Guy!

So I did, and I signed up on the spot. I’d never been camping before. I was really looking forward to it and Earl – well, Earl, he was quite the guy.”

Reminiscent of television’s and theater’s The Odd Couple, The Camping Guy follows the misadventures of Earl, an experienced woodsman, and Johnson, his inept city slicker client, as they spend a camping weekend in the wilds of the Rockies. What was intended to be a de-stressing weekend soon turns into a distressing one, as these two mismatched campers find themselves engaged in unintended and hilarious situations.

 Male bonding has never been more funny, nor more dangerous!

(For those of us with short attention spans, here’s that link again: http://amzn.to/WBQT4x)

And still on the topic of friends, I have a lot of friends.

Well, that is to say, I’m talking about my virtual ones. Not unlike the imaginary ones of one’s childhood, I suppose, but this time, these are real people – virtual only in that they are my online friends. Social media allows, nay, DEMANDS this. Somewhere in this vast wonderful world, these friends of mine, they walk, talk, write stories, and blog. It’s a whole new world out there, folks. And the wonderful thing is, these people are interesting, lovely, funny, obnoxious at times, but mostly genuine and caring. And I’m all of the above, right back atcha’! So from time to time I read my friends’ books. And although I have an opinion on most things that I read (don’t we all?) on occasion, (like now) I also have the time and mental energy to write a review.

Shame on me.

I should be leaving a written review on everything that I have read and enjoyed. (You see, I don’t have the spare time to spend on those that I haven’t enjoyed – in fact I probably didn’t even finish reading anything that I didn’t enjoy.)

But these days I am making an attempt to actually read through my WTBR pile (“waiting to be read”) and so today I am sharing with you, the following review of Seumas Gallacher’s THE BLOGGER’S GUIDE TO ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. It’s a goody! (His book, I mean, not my review…) and you can purchase it here: http://amzn.to/WtKLhO

Mr. Gallacher’s “Guide” is a collection of his blog posts, expounding on his views about the world of writing. He covers topics from writing rules (splitting an infinitive, anyone?) to conventional wisdom on marketing (just go for it!) to the experience of being in Face Book jail. Each blog is set within the imaginary framework of an insane asylum, his premise being that writers are all a wee bit crazy, and each post ends with Matron’s imminent arrival (I became quite fond of the old gal by the end of the book.)

Self-described as an “old Luddite” and a “crazy Scotsman”, I would add the adjectives of “witty, sarcastic, and a joy to read”, but especially “prolific”. (He aspires to write a minimum of 3 blogs per week, as well as continuing to churn out best-selling novels and successfully marketing the hell out of them. Go Seumas!)

My favorite musings of this clever word smith is the post in which he mirthfully describes acquiring his computer skills (Computer Hell for Dummies.) As one who began my own journey into writing and publishing not knowing how to even cut and paste, I loved this selection.

All in all, this Guide is clever, sassy, and downright enjoyable. Every word of it. Buy it. Read it. Laugh out loud till your cheeks hurt. Oh, and watch out for Matron….

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 1,833 other followers

%d bloggers like this: